My Daily Journal in Federal Prison

Day 57

How long until the Casey Anthony sex tape?  Or perhaps a pay-per-view fist-a-cuffs with Tonya Harding?  Celebrity Apprentice?  Surprisingly, the astonishing “not guilty” verdict sent very few ripples through the prison buzz bin.  If we weren’t required to have one out of the five televisions in the T.V. room permanently tuned to CNN I doubt that I would have even heard the news…Instead I would have been subjected to the typical pastiche of BET, ESPN, and America’s Got Talented Dancers, Singers, & Magicians.

Elsewhere on the compound….

I wish I’d have the kind of imagination to make this shit up…and I swear, to the best of my knowledge that this story is 100% sad but true, as sworn by the two involved felons.  Let me set the stage:

The Federal Correctional Institution that I presently call my home houses nearly 2,000 inmates.  There are six housing units whereby incoming felons are assigned at random based on available bed space.  I would say that approximately 20 of the 50 states are represented here and the crimes for which we are responsible range from bank robbery to child pornography to terrorism to drug cases to financial crimes and everything in between.  If I were to take an educated guess, I would say that 50% of the inmates here are black, 30% are Hispanic, 15% are white, and 5% are Asian, Native Americans, etc.  The inmates’ ages range from 18 to 70.

With all of the above taken into consideration, imagine the following scenario:  two white males in their late 20s / early 30s arrive on the compound in the Spring of 2010 on the same day, coming off of the same bus.  They originate from two different states, albeit the same part of the country, yet they were both initially sent to the same Federal Detention Center in Oklahoma City, which serves as a transportation hub for all other Federal Correctional Institutions — and ultimately made it to the bus that would take them here by flying on the same “Con Air” plane.  (Have you seen the movie?  Aside from Nic Cage and the rest of the star-studded firepower, the airplane that transports Federal convicts is not that far off from that portrayal.)

Once on the compound, both men are assigned to the same Unit, in the same wing, with only a few bunks separating them.  The men are white, covered with tattoos, and both sport long “billy goat” beards.  One is here serving time for a drug charge, the other for a financial crime.

Guess what is their greatest common denominator?  To which they had NO previous knowledge?  THEY SHARE THE SAME FATHER.

About six months after arriving on the compound, they daily mail call would be responsible for the fateful reunion that would make even Maury weak in the knees.  As one of these dudes flipped through a stack of photos from a letter that he had just received, the other guy peered over his shoulder and exclaimed, “Why do you have pictures of my father??”

Turns out that they are brothers from another mother — yet share the same father…an interstate semi-trailer truck driver.  Neither of them knew the other even existed and it is unclear if the father knew that they were both incarcerated and at the same facility.

Aside from the unbelievable string of events that brought both of these men here, I imagine that many social scientists would have a field day with the nature vs. nurture argument specifically as it relates to these two.

The biggest takeaway?  Their father sure knows how to breed them.


1 Comment»

  Kevin wrote @

No. Freaking. way.

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