I'VE BEEN SERVED

My Daily Journal in Federal Prison

Day 58

Being without your wife (specifically) and the opposite sex (in general) will do weird things to you over the course of a couple of months.  Not in THAT way, silly.  I’m talking about the way that you will react upon catching a fleeting glimpse of any woman (in person, on television, or in print).

At once, ALL of the female news anchors on CNN are smoking hot…the inmates are mesmerized by Casey Anthony (and not because of the verdict)…and every felon in the Chow Hall is rubbernecking at ANY woman on the prison staff that passes by the window — whether young, old, skinny, fat or of questionable sexual orientation (and there are a lot of those); followed by affirmative nods and whispers of “I’D HIT THAT” and eyes that exclaim “DAMN!!!”

There are about a dozen female employees on the compound here — none of which would probably draw much attention from these guys if they were on the street, however, at this degenerate day care, these dudes wear the equivalent of malt-liqour goggles after a three-day bender.  EVERYONE looks good to them.  There is one particular secretary in the Education department that is mildly deserving of the attention…and she knows it…and probably relishes it.  She is always dressed in such a way that wouldn’t be out of place at the club…with the high heels to match.

And just who is she looking to impress?  You can always see her hanging around on the compound for no apparent reason, sporting large, dark sunglasses to prevent the glare of both incoming and outgoing stares.  As local legend tells it, this minx used to be the Secretary in our Unit, but had requested a transfer to the Education Department after having to endure an inordinate amoung of inmage ogling.

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